Allison Starr Crispin, from day one when you came to see. I poured my heart out to you. I knew I was gonna be able to trust instantly. You know every little secret and flaw of my life. Your laugh, Your smile ‘oh that smile of yours, Your little bun, Your body, Your kick ass personality, I love it all. I love every little thing about you. I love meeting your family. I love Saydi, and Momma! I love your kitties. That word we always say, forever. It’s not even a word, it’s a place where we’re gonna go, cause I believe in true love. I feel like we have true love. I don’t care if 15, and you’re 17. Age is just a number. Our love is like the wind, I can’t see it but I can sure as hell feel it. I knew I loved you when I realized that there was no one else I would rather laugh, cry and make memories with… Us being together is like the moon and the sky. Who’s Aliah, without Allison? Exactly. You complete me. I love you more than you can know… I need you more than you will ever know… I care for you more that anyone you know. I love that I can be my complete self around you. Allison, Starr, My precious I haven’t been this happy in a long time. I don’t care if you don’t feel the same. I don’t care if it’s only been 3 weeks. I’m so deeply inlove with you. I can’t wait to take all those cute pictures, have even more sleepovers. Everything. My heart gets dizzy around you. My knees get weak. My body quivers. It’s like I don’t function completely if I’m not with you. I would never cheat on you. I will never cheat on you. I will never disrespect you. Fuck our pasts, that’s why we have one another. You found me when I was at my breaking point. Literally. I was so done with everything. Doing so much drugs, poppin’ pills to just get through the day, Crying on the shower floor curled up, Sitting in the dark with candles lit cutting myself up to the point where I went numb, Having flashbacks of getting sexually and physically abused, Crying myself to sleep, Not eating for days, Making myself puke, Feeling worthless. Allison, you literally saved my life. I’m crying right now writing this. I love this relationship. I love you to the moon and back , Allison Starr.

I woke up today, and my cuts bled all over my pillow. What the fuck is wrong with me.

i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself.

there’s not enough hate to show you how much i hate myself.